i can pay this song no matter my ood and start singing out loud at the top f my lungs....
Monday, April 13, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Happy Bday Nick Nowell
wats up my nigga
damn bro i havent talkd to u in a min
i am sorry i didnt make it to see u today, no bus really passes by the cemetary.
but wat i raelly wanted to do was thank you for being a great friend, for allowing me to be your friend, for trying to fix whtings between me and ur "cousin" and for allowing my mother to call u "son" and my lil sister to call u "Brother".
i have had many close calls lately and i am pretty positive you got my back from up there just like u did when we were down here. never let nothign happen to me. i appreciate everything and i promise to never let ur memories die...
ill see u one day
your FRiend.. Ant beezy
B-Up
Rest in Peace
behind the curtain
life has its way of telling u things, communicating with u in languages that you dont speak. and its in those days that life seems the darkest. that you feel most frustrated and all u want to do is give up, press that snooze button a lil while longer and hope that when u finally stop pressin it tht everything will be ok.
u see sometimes when things are at their hardest its Life speaking to u, telling u something that u dont want to hear. and because u dont want to hear u get frustrated, angry, depressed, because u know wat u have to do.
u have to CHANGE
but see change isnt so easy. at least not for those comfortable in their current position. we are too used to our habits. our waking up at a certain time, a going to sleep at a certain time, wat kind of food we eat, where we sleep, wat kind of things we expect in the opposite sex, etc. and whenever we go against our habits things just dont go right.
i have been struggling with this since Oct. Not working, going to sleep at 4 in the morning, waking up at 11 in the afternoon and being in front of a computer all day. well to make matters worse when i did work it was a job that shouldnt even be called a job. it was awesome. i worked from 130-730 which meant, still waking up at 11 to catch the bus by 12. sitting in front of the computer all day talking on the phone sellling cable TV. now i know i sold shit, but i have been in sales for so long its like second nature. so i would get to work at 130 get on line and chill for 6 hours then go home. then got paid every friday any where from $600-$1200 per week. shit i even made like $3500 or so from like dec 15 till the first week in jan. and i was soo excited about the money cause i knew i could afford to go back to school now. and thats all i wanted, thats all i prayed for. was a good job that would allow me to go back to school. but with my luck i spent the money, on things i would never need and could do with out. but since that money was coming so quick i wold down play everything with the idea i would get money again next week.
well to make a long story short, that place lost their license and they shut down. i had only worked from NOV. 15 till like Jan. 20th. just two whole months.
i get a call two weeks later from the boss from there like hey i got a job for u come in. so i start back up woring with them. this time selling loan mods (which was a pain since hate the mortgage industry). and i was there for a month, working the same hours, only this time i didnt get paid. A FULL MONTH AND NO PAY$$$$$.
so when they had closed that for a week and my boss asked if iw anted to sell Cable again i said sure.. but with doubts in my head because i hadnt gtten paid form them in almost two months. ... so i never showed up
i have been out of work since. i am completely broke. i had gotten some money like two days ago from my grandparents to help me out cause they knew i was broke. but then got ganked for the money by my cousin who (who is going to Cancun this week cause he got bank) said i needed to pay my half of the cable bill. i felt like crying. i was angry, but not at him, no, please dont think that. i was angry at myself
i am pissed off because i can't change, i wont change!
i know i can change, i know i can do alot in this world, that i can contribute a lot to mankind and to my family.
but right now i am not.
u know wat i hate most right now? is the stupid questions, "how are you?" & "what u been up to?" i hate those quetions cause they remind me of how much of a fuck up i have become. wat do u want me to tell u....
*my answer*
oh i am fine, im 24 yrs old, live in my grandmas attic, i have no job, dont go to school, broke, no car, and my bus pass just ran out so i have no source of transportation but my two feet. no education, and no good drug habit to blame everything on. all i have is this lil voice in my head that screams at me when i over sleep, and somehign in me that wont let me die cause i dont want those who i love hurt
thats my story right now, thats who i am today. i am sorry wat others may think but i am a fuckin loser. iam that person i swore i would never become. i am my biggest nightmare and when i think about it i cry my fuckin eyes out.
so back to the topic of this blog... CHANGE
they say the species that is unable to change is the species that eventually becomes deceased.
well let me tell u something right now...
i wont be killed by my own hand, i will rise from this, i will become stronger i will become someone who i know i am, and i am just too afraid to be...
u see sometimes life has a way of speaking to us and we dont understand.
and right now Life is telling me that if i continue living the way i am i will die. but i refuse to be a has been or someone who could have done something...
i will do something in this world...
i will become someone
and there is no better day than today
u see sometimes when things are at their hardest its Life speaking to u, telling u something that u dont want to hear. and because u dont want to hear u get frustrated, angry, depressed, because u know wat u have to do.
u have to CHANGE
but see change isnt so easy. at least not for those comfortable in their current position. we are too used to our habits. our waking up at a certain time, a going to sleep at a certain time, wat kind of food we eat, where we sleep, wat kind of things we expect in the opposite sex, etc. and whenever we go against our habits things just dont go right.
i have been struggling with this since Oct. Not working, going to sleep at 4 in the morning, waking up at 11 in the afternoon and being in front of a computer all day. well to make matters worse when i did work it was a job that shouldnt even be called a job. it was awesome. i worked from 130-730 which meant, still waking up at 11 to catch the bus by 12. sitting in front of the computer all day talking on the phone sellling cable TV. now i know i sold shit, but i have been in sales for so long its like second nature. so i would get to work at 130 get on line and chill for 6 hours then go home. then got paid every friday any where from $600-$1200 per week. shit i even made like $3500 or so from like dec 15 till the first week in jan. and i was soo excited about the money cause i knew i could afford to go back to school now. and thats all i wanted, thats all i prayed for. was a good job that would allow me to go back to school. but with my luck i spent the money, on things i would never need and could do with out. but since that money was coming so quick i wold down play everything with the idea i would get money again next week.
well to make a long story short, that place lost their license and they shut down. i had only worked from NOV. 15 till like Jan. 20th. just two whole months.
i get a call two weeks later from the boss from there like hey i got a job for u come in. so i start back up woring with them. this time selling loan mods (which was a pain since hate the mortgage industry). and i was there for a month, working the same hours, only this time i didnt get paid. A FULL MONTH AND NO PAY$$$$$.
so when they had closed that for a week and my boss asked if iw anted to sell Cable again i said sure.. but with doubts in my head because i hadnt gtten paid form them in almost two months. ... so i never showed up
i have been out of work since. i am completely broke. i had gotten some money like two days ago from my grandparents to help me out cause they knew i was broke. but then got ganked for the money by my cousin who (who is going to Cancun this week cause he got bank) said i needed to pay my half of the cable bill. i felt like crying. i was angry, but not at him, no, please dont think that. i was angry at myself
i am pissed off because i can't change, i wont change!
i know i can change, i know i can do alot in this world, that i can contribute a lot to mankind and to my family.
but right now i am not.
u know wat i hate most right now? is the stupid questions, "how are you?" & "what u been up to?" i hate those quetions cause they remind me of how much of a fuck up i have become. wat do u want me to tell u....
*my answer*
oh i am fine, im 24 yrs old, live in my grandmas attic, i have no job, dont go to school, broke, no car, and my bus pass just ran out so i have no source of transportation but my two feet. no education, and no good drug habit to blame everything on. all i have is this lil voice in my head that screams at me when i over sleep, and somehign in me that wont let me die cause i dont want those who i love hurt
thats my story right now, thats who i am today. i am sorry wat others may think but i am a fuckin loser. iam that person i swore i would never become. i am my biggest nightmare and when i think about it i cry my fuckin eyes out.
so back to the topic of this blog... CHANGE
they say the species that is unable to change is the species that eventually becomes deceased.
well let me tell u something right now...
i wont be killed by my own hand, i will rise from this, i will become stronger i will become someone who i know i am, and i am just too afraid to be...
u see sometimes life has a way of speaking to us and we dont understand.
and right now Life is telling me that if i continue living the way i am i will die. but i refuse to be a has been or someone who could have done something...
i will do something in this world...
i will become someone
and there is no better day than today
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
interesting article
that i happen to be interviewed for...
pretty good read...
Beats and Lyricism Have Changed In Current Era of Hip-Hop
by Rajiv Mirchandani
From the days of Run DMC to Public Enemy to Kanye West, hip-hop has been a cultural movement, a lifestyle and a form of expression.
It has integrated various genres into its creative arsenal over time, such as jazz, techno, blues and even rock.
You can find hip-hop in many forms, such as freestyle rap battles, instrumental beats, poetry, and much more.
"True hip-hop to me is always going to be something that captures the true essence of it, like breaking, D.J.-ing, emceeing and graffiti," said George Wang, who spends most of his time behind a microphone with the alias MC Golden Child.
Although it is more than a genre of music, the basics of hip-hop have always been defined by the beats and lyrics of its most successful performers.
Lyrics that represent struggles to overcome, lyrics that celebrate the promotion of change, and lyrics with creatively expressed underlying morals have carried hip-hop on their shoulders.
In this age of mainstream hip-hop, however, true lyricism has arguably become a lost art. Artists like Soulja Boy and Lil' Wayne have used their "swag" to become top selling artists with their unique form of hip-hop, where catchy phrases such as "lick me like a lollipop," and dances like the "stanky leg," have been their signature.
"Back in the early 1990's, you had groups like Souls of Mischief, A Tribe Called Quest, and Pharcyde on the radio, and it was definitely so innovative at the time," said Wang.
"I feel like now it's gotten so washed up that you hear the same message," he added. "That message wasn't the same [one] that you heard, like hip-hop in its hay day."
Perhaps less emphasis on lyrics in today's main stream hip hop scene represents a shift in priorities of listeners.
"Guys like Soulja Boy and T-Pain are good entertainers, but as far as their songs go, it's a shame that they are even considered to be a part of hip-hop," said Vinnie Brascia, a PCC student with an iPod full of underground hip-hop.
"In my opinion, strong lyrics are the most important part of a good song, not a catchy beat or a shallow phrase that entertains me. But I guess that's what people look for nowadays," Brascia added.
Brascia's theory of entertainment overtaking lyrics was reiterated by Wang.
"A lot of times I love good lyrics, but it has to be backed up by good production," said Wang.
He added, "I have so many great MC's in my rolodex that have the most amazing lyrics, but can't ride the beat, and it does them no justice. No one wants to listen to music they can't vibe too."
Tony Park, a fellow MC, also shared insight as to why lyricism has taken a back seat to entertainment. He claims that good lyrics result from harsh realities. Therefore, listeners don't want to bother with them.
"Lyrics do matter to people that actually listen, but a lot of people don't like to face reality. They like to escape it," said Park. "That is why club songs are good. They allow you to have a good time and get away from the nonsense of the world."
Another theory about the current era is that true hip-hop is just hidden somewhere in the depths of its underground branch.
Student and hip-hop enthusiast Kurt Hoverson believes that "Hip-hop heads should not worry too much, because there are plenty of up-and-coming artists in the underground circuit."
Whether the current change in the story of this genre is attributed to Soulja Boy, Lil Wayne, T-Pain or even underground artists, the truth is that hip-hop has simply turned to a new chapter, but has left the window open for a return of its old ones.
Park stated, "Hip-hop just has its seasons. This is the season of club music, but you have so many different eras that always seem to come back."
So while this new sound is either embraced or rejected by the hip-hop world, one aspect of it remains consistent; Its versatile ability to transform into something new and fresh, or to bring it back to where it was at.
to check out more articles by the Journalist check out his blogspot @
http://makeupyomind.blogspot.com/
pretty good read...
Beats and Lyricism Have Changed In Current Era of Hip-Hop
by Rajiv Mirchandani
From the days of Run DMC to Public Enemy to Kanye West, hip-hop has been a cultural movement, a lifestyle and a form of expression.
It has integrated various genres into its creative arsenal over time, such as jazz, techno, blues and even rock.
You can find hip-hop in many forms, such as freestyle rap battles, instrumental beats, poetry, and much more.
"True hip-hop to me is always going to be something that captures the true essence of it, like breaking, D.J.-ing, emceeing and graffiti," said George Wang, who spends most of his time behind a microphone with the alias MC Golden Child.
Although it is more than a genre of music, the basics of hip-hop have always been defined by the beats and lyrics of its most successful performers.
Lyrics that represent struggles to overcome, lyrics that celebrate the promotion of change, and lyrics with creatively expressed underlying morals have carried hip-hop on their shoulders.
In this age of mainstream hip-hop, however, true lyricism has arguably become a lost art. Artists like Soulja Boy and Lil' Wayne have used their "swag" to become top selling artists with their unique form of hip-hop, where catchy phrases such as "lick me like a lollipop," and dances like the "stanky leg," have been their signature.
"Back in the early 1990's, you had groups like Souls of Mischief, A Tribe Called Quest, and Pharcyde on the radio, and it was definitely so innovative at the time," said Wang.
"I feel like now it's gotten so washed up that you hear the same message," he added. "That message wasn't the same [one] that you heard, like hip-hop in its hay day."
Perhaps less emphasis on lyrics in today's main stream hip hop scene represents a shift in priorities of listeners.
"Guys like Soulja Boy and T-Pain are good entertainers, but as far as their songs go, it's a shame that they are even considered to be a part of hip-hop," said Vinnie Brascia, a PCC student with an iPod full of underground hip-hop.
"In my opinion, strong lyrics are the most important part of a good song, not a catchy beat or a shallow phrase that entertains me. But I guess that's what people look for nowadays," Brascia added.
Brascia's theory of entertainment overtaking lyrics was reiterated by Wang.
"A lot of times I love good lyrics, but it has to be backed up by good production," said Wang.
He added, "I have so many great MC's in my rolodex that have the most amazing lyrics, but can't ride the beat, and it does them no justice. No one wants to listen to music they can't vibe too."
Tony Park, a fellow MC, also shared insight as to why lyricism has taken a back seat to entertainment. He claims that good lyrics result from harsh realities. Therefore, listeners don't want to bother with them.
"Lyrics do matter to people that actually listen, but a lot of people don't like to face reality. They like to escape it," said Park. "That is why club songs are good. They allow you to have a good time and get away from the nonsense of the world."
Another theory about the current era is that true hip-hop is just hidden somewhere in the depths of its underground branch.
Student and hip-hop enthusiast Kurt Hoverson believes that "Hip-hop heads should not worry too much, because there are plenty of up-and-coming artists in the underground circuit."
Whether the current change in the story of this genre is attributed to Soulja Boy, Lil Wayne, T-Pain or even underground artists, the truth is that hip-hop has simply turned to a new chapter, but has left the window open for a return of its old ones.
Park stated, "Hip-hop just has its seasons. This is the season of club music, but you have so many different eras that always seem to come back."
So while this new sound is either embraced or rejected by the hip-hop world, one aspect of it remains consistent; Its versatile ability to transform into something new and fresh, or to bring it back to where it was at.
to check out more articles by the Journalist check out his blogspot @
http://makeupyomind.blogspot.com/
Friday, March 27, 2009
Last one for the day
i know my last few post have came pretty late
sorry
but its pretty funny
i am at my uncles house
its 130am
his three kids are asleep as well as his wife
and we are in the living room drilling holes in the wall to mount the tv
hahahaha
soo funnyy
any how
Good NIghtt!!
sorry
but its pretty funny
i am at my uncles house
its 130am
his three kids are asleep as well as his wife
and we are in the living room drilling holes in the wall to mount the tv
hahahaha
soo funnyy
any how
Good NIghtt!!
Mixtape Updates!!
so my first mixtape shall be released in the next 45 days,
as far as wat to expect and who it will drop with.
well wat ur really going to get with this first mixtape is just the best songs i have recorded in the past 12 months that were either on myspace or performed.
with this first mixtape dont look at it like a mixtape but rather a warm up, or a quiet of the storm.
i really just want to get some music out to everyone with out having them wait too long.
so the first mixtape is going to feature about 60% of songs u heard toped with like 6-7 brand new songs never heard before.
but my first OFFICAL mixtape is looking at a may-june release date
for now its called "Hello Tomorrow Vol. 1: The Birth of Tony Park" or somethign like that
i am still playing with the name a Bit.
i am really excited about everything because i have been writting alot of great stuff lately that everyone will love. covers alot of me and different topics that i wanted to talk about.
well stay tuned...
as far as wat to expect and who it will drop with.
well wat ur really going to get with this first mixtape is just the best songs i have recorded in the past 12 months that were either on myspace or performed.
with this first mixtape dont look at it like a mixtape but rather a warm up, or a quiet of the storm.
i really just want to get some music out to everyone with out having them wait too long.
so the first mixtape is going to feature about 60% of songs u heard toped with like 6-7 brand new songs never heard before.
but my first OFFICAL mixtape is looking at a may-june release date
for now its called "Hello Tomorrow Vol. 1: The Birth of Tony Park" or somethign like that
i am still playing with the name a Bit.
i am really excited about everything because i have been writting alot of great stuff lately that everyone will love. covers alot of me and different topics that i wanted to talk about.
well stay tuned...
"iT DOESNT MATTER
IF THE WHOLE WORLD BELIEVES IN YOU, IF U DONT BELIEVE IN URSELF."
written by a lil punk 19 yr old kid who was soon to become
Tony Park
written by a lil punk 19 yr old kid who was soon to become
Tony Park
Just Add Water...
do u remember those toys? they would come in a lil pack. like sick lil dinosaurs crunched in a lil plasitc package. they would come in all colors and sizes. u had the red t-rex, the yellow triceratops, the pink terradactoe etc. and they would be tiny. and u couldnt wait to get home and take a bath and take all ur new toys with u. cause even though they were only like 2 1/2 inches long in the packet. the moment u put them in the tub with u, u had HUGE dinosaurs that u would play with till ur hands had wrinkles all over them. they were larger than u ever suspected from the package and they blew u out the water.
well i have a secret for u. . . inside each any every single one of us lies a small lil dinosaur. a giant that is in us that from the outset just seems like a lil small thing, a dream, a gift, a talent, a will, a gift, that is soo small in our eyes because of the fact that we dont really know at to do with it.
here are ur directions:*caution* should not be read by people who really want to live life to the fullest*
first thing u have to do is uncover it.
take it out of its package. because the longer it stays in the package the smaller it will become.
secondly Add water.
just like those lil dinosaurs needed water, u have to feed that gift, u have to take care of it and give it exactly wat it needs.
thirdly watch it grow.
my favorite part was actually watching it grow more than it being big. its that feeling of accomplishment, while still in the act of working hard, to watch something u put soo much into get bigger and blossom.
fourth enjoy it.
nothing is great unless u can enjoy it. sit back and take a moment to reflect about how much work u put in and how good work really pays off.
fifth open up another pack
just because u made it this far doesnt mean that all the fun is over
get off ur ass and look inside of u and open another pack. another gift, talent, dream inside of u that is just waiting for u to JUST ADD WATER
fROM UR bUDDY tONY pARK
well i have a secret for u. . . inside each any every single one of us lies a small lil dinosaur. a giant that is in us that from the outset just seems like a lil small thing, a dream, a gift, a talent, a will, a gift, that is soo small in our eyes because of the fact that we dont really know at to do with it.
here are ur directions:*caution* should not be read by people who really want to live life to the fullest*
first thing u have to do is uncover it.
take it out of its package. because the longer it stays in the package the smaller it will become.
secondly Add water.
just like those lil dinosaurs needed water, u have to feed that gift, u have to take care of it and give it exactly wat it needs.
thirdly watch it grow.
my favorite part was actually watching it grow more than it being big. its that feeling of accomplishment, while still in the act of working hard, to watch something u put soo much into get bigger and blossom.
fourth enjoy it.
nothing is great unless u can enjoy it. sit back and take a moment to reflect about how much work u put in and how good work really pays off.
fifth open up another pack
just because u made it this far doesnt mean that all the fun is over
get off ur ass and look inside of u and open another pack. another gift, talent, dream inside of u that is just waiting for u to JUST ADD WATER
fROM UR bUDDY tONY pARK
Thursday, March 26, 2009
grammatical errors and short hand
ok ok here is my disclaimer
i aint one of those people that re-read wat they write after they write it
i write, and press submit.. then read wat i wrote a while later.
however this process has its good and its bad...
GOOD:
raw thoughts
raw emotions
none of this correcting nonsense just in case i offended someone.
EVERYTHING IS RAWW
BAD:
alot of grammatical errors, misspelled words, and i write in short hand alot. using u instead of you, wat instead of what.. etc.
so please dont think like "OMG this guy doesnt know how to write, or know how to spell.."
fuck that ill beat u and ur mom in a spelling bee. lol
its just how i do my thang thang...
any how...
have a great day =D
i aint one of those people that re-read wat they write after they write it
i write, and press submit.. then read wat i wrote a while later.
however this process has its good and its bad...
GOOD:
raw thoughts
raw emotions
none of this correcting nonsense just in case i offended someone.
EVERYTHING IS RAWW
BAD:
alot of grammatical errors, misspelled words, and i write in short hand alot. using u instead of you, wat instead of what.. etc.
so please dont think like "OMG this guy doesnt know how to write, or know how to spell.."
fuck that ill beat u and ur mom in a spelling bee. lol
its just how i do my thang thang...
any how...
have a great day =D
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