pillow talk

i find myself praying alot more before i sleep. and i remember days where i would refuse to pray. days where i would even get upset when someone asked me to pray. i would never say i am an atheist or even a religious man. i consider myself more i guess spiritual. like everything happens for a reason and its all just the circle of life.

but something happen to me recently and i started feeling certain ways about things and certain ways at night that wouldnt allow me to sleep, wouldnt allow me to watch certain tv shows or even movies. i was going crazy. nuts. every 5 mins i thought of death and the possibilities it had for me. and how fragile life was and how we all take everything for granted.

i dont go to church, but i do reead up on alot of different religious ways and philosophies. and i had this thought the other day.

u know how every religious groups say they are right and all others are wrong

well wat if thats wrong

wat if we are all right.

wat if this Genius that made us knew that in different parts of the world different societies, environments all over the place, that everyone reacted and felt differently towards different ideas or beliefs. so he created these different religions or ways to live ur life so that everyone could live right. most religions practically say the same shit. i mean its dressed up differently, ur jewish, hindu, muslim etc. are all dressed and advertised differently.. but when u get down to the core, the bone of the animal u realize its all the same. who they believe in is not the same.. b ut thats not the point its what they believe in. their morals, beliefs and values are generally pretty much the same give or take a few things. we all want to live a long peaceful life. full of fun times and optimism. and each of our religions our telling us all the same thing for the most part. help out ur fellow man, treat others how u want to be treated, dont over indulge in anything. to always have a balanced life..


sorry

i know i ramble alot

i got a lot of things going on upstairs.

coming of age

so i recently just got a facebook

and i still dont know how to use it

however all the people who are my facebook friends i havent seen in yearsss

my myspace friends were totally different and i truly think that myspace is more for the creative mind because u can create ur world by creating ur page. i feel that facebook is too simple. u cant tell who the person is or wat they are about until u look at their pics or read some shit.. u cant just look at a page and get a sense of who t hey are...

any way..

all my facebook friends are friends from back in the day tht i went to highschool with or even early college years. and as i look at them at times i feel as though i may have failed myself and at times them. i see them and alot of them have graduated college, have kids, married, have great jobs. and here i am

24 yrs old
no kids
no job
no money
and no good drug habit to blame everything on

the only person i can blame is myself and the decisions i made.

now dont think i am beating myself up because i aint. i truly believe we all have our own paths to walk and lessons to learn. i dont feel jealous or anythign like that when looking at another persons life because thats their life. i believe i am going thru wat i need to go thru and i am taking the actions nessasary to take me where i need to be in life..

well any how...

on to the next one....


song of the moment

WOODYS PRODUCE INSTRUMENTALS...

white boy got skillz

dumb ass Anthony

thats the name i call myself when i do soemthing wrong...

u know like when ur parents get mad at u they call u by ur full name? well when i am mad at myself i call myself Anthony.. so it happens quite often.. especially lately. well if u read my previous blog u will see that i was supposed to see my dad..

i missed my flight

and i dont want to talk about it

i had that bitch (girl that was goign to go with me to see my dad) drop me off at a gas station 3 miles from LAX at 6 pm and i found my way home. on my own

dumb ass Anthony for missing flight

Smart ass for getting home form the middle of nowhere before sundown lol